Live Q&A With Wedding Experts: Their Advice
Ok, so on a Friday night, in the cutest wedding gown store you could ever imagine, I managed to wrangle Charlotte’s best wedding experts in one room….talk about a dream come true. This time last year, I was elbows-deep in the planning process and overwhelmed by how many vendors there were to coordinate ideas, questions, and timelines with. What I would’ve given to have them all together at once, in one space. Needless to say, the newly engaged and the soon-to-be-engaged ladies of Charlotte came pouring in, and everyone took full advantage of this opportunity for a live Q&A.
For the girls who were unable to attend due to conflicts or location, I wanted to make sure you didn’t miss out on this opportunity. Below is a full recap of the conversations, with some of the most insightful and honest advice I could have ever hoped for. Enjoy!
(Photos taken by Kaleigh Yager)
About the Panelists:
ReAnne - Owner of Lovely Bride, the gorgeous wedding gown store that hosted this incredible evening.
Marissa and Heidi - Partners and Master Trainers at West Kept Secret, a studio that combines cardio, strength training, and pilates into one high intensity format for proven results.
Allison - Wedding Planner with 14 years of experience and most recently in charge of weddings at the Ballantyne Hotel.
Courtney - Associate at Brideside, a concierge service nation-wide to help style the bridal party from beginning to end.
Narcisse - Owner of Narcisse Greenway Design, a premier floral design firm specializing in wild, moody, boho, and romantic flowers for your wedding day.
Jim - Owner of Jim Trice Photography, a Charlotte-based photographer with a love of travel and destination weddings.
Sabrina and Charisse - Co-Owners of Look Love Beauty, specializing in full-service hair and makeup to make you look and feel your best.
Caroline and Dominic- Co-Owners of Arden Film Co, a full-service wedding film company available locally or for travel.
Top Wedding Tips From The Experts:
ReAnne, Lovely Bride- When it comes to shopping, be very specific with who you’re bringing to your appointment. Keep it as intimate as possible. Usually having 2-3 people with you is best and they can give you advice without it becoming overwhelming. (Read more on tips for dress shopping here).
Heidi, West Kept Secret - Do not kill yourself before the wedding with 2-a-days. If you reserve the time you need for yourself each day, regardless of when you start, it will be enough. Your body doesn’t recover when you over-do it. You think you’re burning calories and building muscle but you’re actually doing the opposite.
Marissa, West Kept Secret - Find a workout that’s fun and that you enjoy so it’s not a quick change for an event, but rather a lifestyle change that you stick with forever. We spend so much time, money, and energy to get in shape, and then you go on your honeymoon and a couple of months later, that hard work has regressed. The best way to prevent this from happening is to do workouts you love so that you can incorporate them for the rest of your life.
Allison, Wedding Planner - At the end of the day, your wedding is about the two of you and your families coming together, but what most brides are trying to figure out is how to also make it a blast for your guests. The biggest things that impact your guests’ experience are: 1) Are they comfortable? Did they feel like it was crowded, were they sweating during an outdoor ceremony in 100 degree weather? 2) Were they well fed and able to get a drink easily? Were there long lines or a shortage of food? And 3) Were they entertained? Did the band/DJ play great music, or were they playing Michael Jackson on repeat for 2 hours?
Narcisse, Narcisse Greenway Design - Don’t just look to weddings for inspiration. A lot of people think they should search “weddings” on Pinterest, but in fact, a lot of the best inspiration comes from looking at how you like your interior design, what clothes you like, and other design aspects of your everyday life. Because your wedding really is about YOU, and not just some “idea” of you. So if you do go to Pinterest for help, don’t just focus on the wedding section.
Charisse, Look Love Beauty - Stay true to whatever your personal style is. If you’re a “hair down” girl and your mom, sister, cousin, and grandma are all telling you to do an updo because you’re getting married, you’re not going to like any kind of updo that we do on you, because you like yourself with your hair down. Hold onto however you feel most comfortable, because a lot of times we get lost in this “Pinterest bridal dream,” but at the end of the day, you’re looking at these photos forever, so make sure you like whoever THAT person is.
Sabrina, Look Love Beauty - Do your homework with what you’re thinking for beauty. Sometimes girls come in for their trial and say “I don’t know, do whatever! I trust you!” But those are usually the girls who end up having a second trial. So do your research! If you keep coming across a look you like, that’s probably the look you should go for, instead of listening to everyone else’s opinions.
Courtney, Brideside - Have fun with the process! Take a step back and enjoy having all of your favorite people in one room. They’re there to celebrate you and your love for one another. It’s something you’ll always remember from your big day, so try not to stress too much over the small stuff! (Read more about tips on staying present during the wedding day here).
Jim, Jim Trice Photography - Find one venue that’s naturally beautiful and try to stay there. I think a lot of times people will try to do a lot of moves between the church, the reception, where they’re getting ready…and it can cause a lot of stress around logistics for the whole day and especially with the photography. Transportation can be complicated, and even if you have a bus or professional driver, a lot of times it still falls apart with getting everyone from one place to another on time. If you DO have to go to multiple places, make sure the driver is ON TOP of the location, knows the routes, etc. But you’ll enjoy the day much more if you don’t have to worry about the logistics of moving from one place to another.
Caroline, Arden Film Co - Consider a first look! I know tradition is important to some, but it gives you so much more time in front of your videographers’ cameras, your photographers’ cameras, and I can’t tell you how many brides tell me that their favorite videos/photos they have are the moments during their first look. It’s when you’re alone together and it really doesn’t happen any other time during the day.
Dominic, Arden Film Co- I agree about having everything in one location! If you don’t have to get married in a church, find a place where you can do everything in one spot and have guests stay there as well. It’ll allow them to enjoy the day so much more without having to worry about leaving or moving to a new spot. Also, I really value when couples write each other some meaningful words, whether it be a letter you two exchange and then we can capture it on camera and get your audio, or it can be your vows. Just something from your heart and meaningful, not cookie cutter.
Now for the Audience’s Questions….
Q: What is a good balance between cardio and weights to get toned and in wedding shape?
A: Both pieces are very important to work your body in different ways. If you’re doing all-cardio, you could be injury prone or fatigued too much, and if you’re doing all strength, you might end up toning your fat, which is a real thing. It’s so important to do a blend of both—I recommend 3 strict cardio days and then 2 strict weight training days. It will lean you out while also giving you the muscle definition. - West Kept Secret
Q: What are your thoughts on tape-in extensions for the wedding events and day-of?
A: We LOVE clip-in extensions; a lot of other extensions can ruin your hair. It’s a lot of weight on hair that’s usually already somewhat damaged. With clip-ins, we can place them strategically based on your hair style. If you’re doing an updo, we can place them where we wouldn’t have put them if you were doing hair down.
Barefoot Blonde, Luxy, and Bellami are our top 3 brands for clip in extensions. - Look Love Beauty
Q: Do you suggest we look for a videographer who has already filmed at our venue before?
A: No, they don’t need to have already shot there. Any good videographer or photographer will have done their homework and looked up the venue. They’re going to do a location scout and look for all of the good places to film, and where the lighting is ideal. You’re going to limit yourself with vendors if you just look for ones who have shot at that venue before. We also call the venue beforehand to ask about limitations - where can we shoot, where can’t we shoot, etc. - Arden Film Co
A: It can also work against you to have a photographer/videographer who has shot at a venue a lot. If they’ve worked at that location too many times, they sometimes can’t see it any other way, and it can suffocate their creativity. - Jim Trice Photography
Q: How many dress alterations are recommended before the wedding, and how should you spread them out?
A: Whenever choosing a dress tailor, make sure they are experts in bridal, and that they are reputable in YOUR area. If you got your gown in Charlotte, for example, but live somewhere else, I’d suggest calling around to get a reputable tailor where you live so you’re not having to travel long distances for each dress fitting. We like to do alterations 2 months before the wedding date. It’s a good idea to start calling around to tailors even a month before you get your wedding dress, and ask them what their timelines are and when they suggest you should start getting it altered. With busy wedding seasons, things can run longer than expected, so make sure their timelines fit within your needs. - Lovely Bride
Q: How do you suggest doing makeup if you don’t usually wear a lot?
A: Stay true to who you are. If you’re not a makeup girl, it’s totally fine! However, I’d say be prepared to wear a little more than you normally would, because you are being photographed and it has to last all day long, as well as show up in your pictures. I suggest going to take pictures/selfies after the trial so you can see how it looks in photos and as time passes. It also helps when you come with photos of what you like. We get told a lot that girls want a smokey eye, which can mean a million different things. Or, you might say “I want natural,” and then show us a picture of Kimmy K (Kim Kardashian), which we’re happy to do, but that ain’t natural. If I have a photo to point out exactly what the girl is liking, it helps us be on the same page. - Look Love Beauty
A: What you see in the mirror after a trial might seem heavy based on what you’re used to, but in photos, it usually looks less drastic. See how your photographer edits, because sometimes a heavier look ends up photographing exactly how you want it to. - Jim Trice Photography
A: Good point. “Light, bright, and airy” is a big trend right now with what girls are asking for, but to Jim’s point, it can really wash you out in pictures. It’ll totally undo a spray tan if you have one, and will make any natural makeup look seem non existent. You need a good combination of makeup and photography lighting. Go take a selfie in front of a naturally-lit window after getting your makeup trial done, and see how it looks to make sure you’re happy with it. - Look Love Beauty
Q: What’s the best way to organize bridesmaids dresses if everyone’s not living in the same state?
A: Come to Brideside! That’s what we’re here for—-I call myself a Bridesmaid Wrangler sometimes. You come in, figure out what you want to do, however you want to do it…if you want girls in the same dress, same color; different dress, same color; a full mix and match of colors and styles, we handle it all for you. You give us your girls’ contact information, and we’ll reach out to each girl and explain the process to them. You have plenty of other wedding things to focus on, so once you come in and tell us what you want, we handle it all and will send you the final breakdown to make sure it’s all perfect before we submit it for production! - Brideside
Q: Where is the best place to put your money when it comes to florals?
A: That matters what’s most important to you. If you care most about your photos and your forever memories, then I would say invest in bouquets, boutonnieres, and your ceremony, because those are all going to be seen in your photos. If you care more about guest experiences, maybe you want to invest in a photo booth or what the tablescapes look like. Each thing is expensive in its own way, so you really have to decide what you care most about. A lot of people want everything, so it’s something we work through, because obviously flowers are expensive and having massive displays everywhere might not always be realistic. - Narcisse Greenway Design
Q: What is your top tip for planning a destination wedding?
A: First of all, destination weddings don’t need to be an island or a foreign country. A destination wedding is anywhere other than the city you and your fiance live in, because it’s not as easy to pop over for planning purposes. I always try to steer clients towards a venue that encompasses everything they need, with the best bang for your buck. Maybe it includes your ceremony space, which then means you don’t need to worry about transporting out of town guests from the ceremony to the reception. Especially if you’re in the mountains or somewhere with spotty cell service—you can’t always count on Uber or maybe you have trouble contacting the bus driver, which is a huge logistical problem when trying to move guests. A venue that has everything (a spot to get ready, in-house catering, etc) and that has a team that you trust, will eliminate day-of and planning stress. - Allison Hoekstra, Wedding Planner
(Read more on destination wedding tips here)
Q: Most guests are coming from out of town. What’s the protocol of what we’re expected to host?
A: My personal opinion is that it is not on you to supply the meal for guests leading up to the wedding. Give them options of where they can eat by putting suggestions on your wedding website. However, what I recommend doing on that Friday night after your rehearsal dinner, is to have a welcome party of some sort. It does NOT need to be on your tab, but it’s nice to welcome guests into town over a few drinks. Even if it’s at your hotel lobby bar, it’s going to let you have those intimate conversations with people and not feel stressed about hitting every table at the reception on Saturday night. - Allison Hoekstra, Wedding Planner
Q: What do you recommend as far as nutrition and a balanced diet a few months before the wedding?
A: Everyone’s goals are going to be different, so it really does depend on what you normally eat and do for exercise, and what your goals are. A lot of the requests we get are around wanting to look more toned and trim, so we can give an example of (West Kept Secret’s Master Trainer) Heidi’s routine leading up to her wedding:
4:30/5:00am: 2 eggs in the morning to keep her full (Clearly, our days start earlier than most people’s)
9:30am: A Perfect Bar as a second breakfast. Perfect Bars are filling, have a good ratio of fat and protein, and a good amount of carbs. We’re big fans of high protein, low carbs. It’s a great way to shut the fat and replace it with lean muscle. (Shop them here)
Lunch: Big salads for lunch packed with protein (chicken, salmon, etc), tons of toppings (avocado, tomato, cranberries, etc). Get colorful with the salads!
Mid-afternoon snack: Usually hummus and nut thins, carrots, and celery.
Dinner: We’ll do a protein with a side of veggies.
I’m a huge proponent of treating yourself EVERY DAY. Something small that’s going to satisfy you without causing you to binge later in the day. We also do some intermittent fasting, but nothing extreme because it’s not sustainable. Usually we’ll eat around 5:30pm or 6pm and then do a 12 hour fast from the time you eat dinner until the time you have breakfast. Your metabolism is like a computer; if you constantly close it but never restart it, it’ll get slow. You need to give it a chance to reboot every so often with the 12 hour intermittent fasting.
Also, always read labels at grocery stores and look at how much sugar is in there! Make sure you know what affects your body in what way…for me, it’s sodium. Anything I put into my body with high sodium makes me bloat really easily, so I make sure to avoid high sodium foods. As far as alcohol goes, you don’t have to stop altogether. Just tone it back from what you’re used to, especially since it can be so high in sugar. If you usually have 5 drinks when you’re out, try for 3 drinks. If you’re having a glass of wine each night, try for 2 nights a week. This will cut out a good amount of calories throughout the year, and will help prevent you from having those alcohol-induced late night food binges. Plus, you won’t feel as sluggish the next day and will be more likely to stick to your workout. - West Kept Secret
Q: Are engagement photos necessary, and do most people use the same photographer for engagement photos as they do for the wedding?
A: I would say if you don’t want to do an engagement shoot, that’s a great reason for doing it. Because if you’re saying you don’t want to have them due to nerves in front of the camera, it will come out awkward on the wedding day. Plus, you want to know that you like and trust the photographer by the time your wedding comes around. And yes, I suggest using the same person for both. You’ll get to know them, become friends, and be way more comfortable. It’ll be like an old friend showing up on your wedding morning instead of a stranger, and it’ll make you a lot more at ease. We spend more time with you on your wedding day than your significant other does, so that relationship is important; don’t overlook it. Sit down with the person you’re considering, and make sure your vision lines up. - Jim Trice Photography
Q: If my venue requires I have a planner for the day of, is that a red flag?
A: Hell No! Your wedding day requires so much planning, a tight timeline, and minute details. Venues aren’t always the experts in each aspect of a wedding. If they’re saying they’ll be your planner, that means they’re handling the catering, the setting up of everything, the bartenders, the moving of chairs, etc. Now say you need help with the dress bustling or need them to run upstairs and grab something for your mother; those tasks are requiring this person to step away from the big things they need to handle downstairs so they can tend to everything else. It becomes a lot, and usually it’s helpful to have a planner who can oversee the setting up or the timing of everything while the venue handles the bartenders and the catering. There are so many details that go into the venue side of things, that it becomes too much to expect the venue to also oversee the personal details as well. Remember that sometimes the cheapest option isn’t the best option. When you invest into something, you’re investing in the people behind that service, so make sure you trust them completely. - Allison Hoekstra, Wedding Planner
Q: What are your opinions on airbrush makeup?
A: I’m not a fan of airbrush makeup. If you’ve been told that your airbrush makeup will last 24 hours, that it won’t move, etc…it’s probably because they’re using a silicone-based makeup, which could go on with a spatula because it’s so thick. OR it’s a makeup brand that’s water soluble, which means it breaks down with water (sweat, rain, tears, etc), which you don’t want on your wedding day. It’s also harder to customize the airbrush makeup the same way we would with traditional creams and liquids. - Look Love Beauty
Q: Do you suggest having a photographer/videographer for the rehearsal dinner?
A: For video, something that makes it even more meaningful is having audio. A lot of rehearsal dinners will have toasts and meaningful speeches. We absolutely recommend capturing that, or else we end up missing a lot of pieces of the story. We didn’t have our photographer at our rehearsal dinner and it’s my biggest regret. I always ask brides if they foresee a lot of meaningful toasts happening the night before the wedding, and if they say yes, we want to be there. You’ll have that to listen to forever. - Arden Film Co
A: It’s also a great way for guests to warm up to us as vendors. If they’re warmed up to me as a photographer on Friday night, it’s a great way to capture more candid moments the next night. - Jim Trice Photography
A: Also, let’s say the weather isn’t great on the wedding day. Maybe pictures you had planned to get aren’t all possible because you can’t do them in the exact location you wanted, and the look of them will be different. If you had a photographer/videographer the night before at the rehearsal dinner, we’ll have been able to capture a lot of looks and take that pressure off of getting them all the next day. - Arden Film Co
A: When we do girls’ makeup for the rehearsal dinner, I always ask them the next day if they have a picture from that night so we can see how it held up and how they liked it. So many times, they realize they didn’t even get one picture of them with their fiance. You think you’ll have a friend take one or that you’ll remember to capture one on your phone, but you get distracted and busy and it’s easy to forget. It’s a fun night to have documented, you won’t regret it! - Look Love Beauty
A: There are so many decisions you make when you’re getting married—flowers, table arrangements, you name it—and it all adds up so fast! Just try to remember what’s going to matter to you in the long run. If you have your head wrapped around something and convince yourself you need it, you may end up skimping in other areas. Things like photos, videos, how you look/feel on the wedding day, and the ease of everything (having the logistics handled by an expert, not having to worry about a thing)…those are worth investing in! You’ll never regret having these memories captured….high end chairs, however, are not something you’ll care about in 20 years. - Yours Truly
