Remaining Present: How To Take It All In The Day Of The Wedding
I know I’m not the first person to tell you this, but I’ll say it anyway: Your Wedding Day Goes By In A Flash.
It was something I heard time and time again, and would get increasingly more annoyed whenever someone would tell me this. Like, how about adding in some tips for how to NOT make it go by in a flash? I’ve only dreamt of this moment my ENTIRE LIFE and planned it in extreme detail for a year straight, and I am not prepared to say good bye to it. So I’m here to tell you that yes, it does go by in a flash. BUT, I’m also here to tell you how to savor each moment as much as possible so you can hopefully be present and soak it all in!
The Morning Of:
The morning that you wake up on your wedding day (hopefully not hungover), is truly one of the craziest feelings. I remember cheesing SO. HARD. But then you sit up and realize how much has to get done in the next few hours (hair, makeup, photos…) and you jump out of bed with adrenaline pumping. This is where I HIGHLY recommend pumping the breaks! Yes, your morning is going to be jam-packed, as is the rest of the day, so my tip to you is to schedule time for a breather! Whether you want coffee by yourself or with your parents, write it into your schedule. Put your phone away (anyone texting you asking where to park or what time everything starts deserves to be ignored), and take at least 30 minutes to let it soak in! For me, I spent 7:30-8am by myself, writing my last entry in a journal that would be Adam’s grooms gift (had been writing him a letter each day since getting engaged). Then, from 8-9am I asked my parents to join me in the bridal suite with their pjs still on and had coffee delivered. It was there that we exchanged gifts and talked about how crazy it was that this was finally happening! Starting the day off in a clear, relaxed mindset helped set the tone for the day and is something I’m so glad I did.
Reading a note from my husband the morning of the wedding
The Zen Bridal Suite:
Then the bridesmaids arrive, and chaos ensues. Your makeup artist is calling for the next girl to sit down, your hair stylist is quickly blow drying whoever so rudely missed the *no wet hair* memo, your MOH is popping champagne, and everyone is asking you what else you need. Um, some quiet would be nice!! Set the tone for the bridal suite by having a playlist going (Country Love Songs is my favorite on Spotify), and my secret weapon was getting a masseuse to come give everyone chair massages. It helped keep the quiet vibe going as long as possible. We had done yoga the day before, but this could also be a good time to have a yoga instructor come and practice yoga with the girls on a balcony or outdoor space as they await their hair/makeup.
As annoying as it is to wake up super early the day of the wedding, I promise you the earlier you wake up and start everything, the calmer you will be! I’ve NEVER heard of a bride not rushing towards the end of the “getting ready” process—somehow, everything will take longer than expected. Avoid this as much as possible by accounting for “touch ups” and gap space in the schedule before photos begin. This is really one of the only times in the day where you’ll be able to sit down and not be pulled in a million directions, so make the space what you need it to be. If it’s getting chaotic, take a moment to lock yourself in the other room and remember what the day is about!!
The Sneak Away:
Ok, guests do not understand that standing around and having long conversations with them about their summer plans or new house renovation is probably the last thing you want to be doing. It is almost impossible to get a moment free of schmoozing or taking photos. Which makes it a challenge to step aside and see what you’ve created: all of your friends and family in this one space together, celebrating you; your vision that you pieced together, item by item, come to life and right in front of you. This is your creation, and it’s going to be gone by the end of the night, so you better take it all in!
The way that we made sure to soak in the atmosphere was to literally SNEAK away. As I mentioned before, you’ll be pulled in a thousand directions as soon as someone sees you alone, so we hid behind the band’s stage and basically crawled outside to where the lounge furniture was set up, so we could watch our loved ones celebrating, see the illuminating tent from the outside, and have time just the two of us to reflect on the day. Eventually, we were spotted, which resulted in photos being taken (clearly guests did not understand what we were trying to accomplish!), but it was one of the most memorable moments of the whole night for us both. My tip: make a plan with your fiance to sneak away, just the two of you, at least one time mid-rehearsal dinner and mid-reception!
The Final Dance:
The last song of the night is being played, and the night is about to come to an end. As your guests are lining up for your exit (sparklers, LED balloons, confetti, etc), you have an opportunity. We had our band lead everyone outside as we hid behind the stage. Once in the clear, and with guests all organizing themselves in a line outside, we had our first dance song (Die A Happy Man) play on the speakers, and we took these 4 minutes to have one last dance, just us two. As nice as it would’ve been to have the band play this for us, we knew it would lead the guests to come back inside, which defeated the purpose. Being alone in this gorgeous setting, still in the midst of the wedding night high, and slow dancing with your new husband…it’s something I can’t explain. The only other person who remained (unbeknown to me) was the videographer, who sneakily captured this moment—which we are so grateful for. The private dance is an amazing way to appreciate what you both just experienced and to end the night with what it’s truly about: you two.
Wedding Week:
Extend the wedding day into a wedding week, if possible!! Arriving a few days early and inviting guests to join you for activities leading up to the big day is SO helpful! Things like a bike ride, group volley ball, a bonfire, or even just breakfast allows you to starting mingling with friends/family in the days leading up to the wedding. By arriving on Wednesday and having that whole day with our immediate families, we could start taking it all in. Then, seeing guests slowly trickle in and running into people on a walk to get a cup of coffee or at the hotel bar after dinner…it made it less chaotic. Instead of greeting all 180 people at once, we could have meaningful conversations with smaller groups at a time and feel less bombarded when Saturday came around.
No matter what you choose to do, my biggest tip is to find a way to take “you” time with just the two of you. Separate yourselves from the crowd and noise, and breathe it all in. It’s the most incredible time of your life, and it will go by in a flash! Stay present, stay grateful, and stay mindful.