Micro Weddings: What, Why, and How?

Let’s get one thing straight before we delve into this: weddings are stressful. Adding a worldwide pandemic on top is basically the definition of pandemonium. You have every right to feel whatever you’re feeling, and to make whatever decision is right for YOU. Be stressed, cry, laugh, and feel your feelings. This is a wild time. Try your best to ignore the advice guests are likely throwing your way, and do what is best for your budget, sanity, and overall happiness.

If that means continuing on with your original plans, congrats! If that means canceling altogether and eloping, wonderful! If it means postponing the reception until a later date and having a mini-celebration/ceremony in the meantime, fantastic! It seems that, with the uncertainty surrounding this pandemic, many couples are choosing the latter: a postponed celebration and a micro wedding in the meantime. Whether you’re currently in that boat, searching for information on how the hell to pull this together, or you’re still trying to figure out what decision is right for you, here’s everything you need to know about planning a micro wedding.

First Off: What Is It?

Good question. A micro wedding is just a small celebration, involving 50 people or less (although they more often have between 10-30 people). It can be just the ceremony, or it can include a party as well…but on a smaller scale. For those of you not wanting to wait any longer to wear your ring and adopt a new last name, it’s a great option. You’re able to respect the health and safety guidelines that are in place while still getting married and celebrating with those closest to you. (Basically, it’s a fabulous excuse for 2 weddings…this one now, and the big one later! Did someone say 2 anniversaries, 2 gifts, and 2 cakes?!)

I’m Not Sold…Why Would I Want a Micro Wedding?

Like I said earlier, this is a stressful time; no doubt about that. I’ve watched first hand as many of my close friends quickly transitioned from engagement bliss to a state of just wanting it all to be over. That, in my opinion, is completely understandable, but truly heartbreaking. For many of us, being engaged and planning a wedding is something we’ve thought about since we were little girls! Now, suddenly, dates are being pushed, vendors are having to back out, guests aren’t able to travel, and the blissful bubble surrounding this momentous occasion has been popped. It truly pains me to think that your special day has been tainted with negativity and fear. This is the time in your life where you should be planning, celebrating, and feeling the LOVE! Since there are still guidelines in place that limit a large gathering, it makes a lot of sense to postpone the event. That way, you don’t have to forgo your vision, lose money on vendor contracts, or un-invite important guests. But, considering you’ve waited your whole life for this moment, you also shouldn’t have to wait any longer before officially tying the knot. This is kind of the best scenario possible, given the circumstances: become a “Mrs” now, and eventually still have your dream wedding, just as you had envisioned it.

Here’s How

Get the word out! Once you’ve made the decision to NOT have your original plan, let vendors and guests know. Hopefully by this point you have already discussed it with your key vendors and understand their contracts, costs, and availability for a new date. You should also have already talked with immediate family and the bridal party to make sure your VIPs are free on the new date BEFORE changing it! (Sure, some people won’t be able to attend, but you’ll want to know this upfront).

Once that’s done, you’ll need to let everyone else know. If your guest list is small enough to where individual texts or calls are an option, great. Otherwise, an email is perfect.

You can craft one yourself, or use a template (you can find a ton on Etsy!) Here’s an example of the wording:

“Family and friends,

Due to the current situation, we’ve made the difficult decision to postpone our wedding. The health and safety of everyone is a top priority, and with this in mind, we have chosen to a) choose a new date of XXX or b) wait until more information is released and will be choosing a new date at that time.

We will absolutely keep everyone updated and send out a new invitation when the time comes. In the meantime, we will be updating our wedding website, so feel free to visit that for information.

With that being said, we have waited long enough to say our “I Do’s” and don’t want to wait any longer! We’ll be broadcasting our ceremony on Zoom and would love for you all to watch from afar. We’ll be sending out a separate calendar invite with the information and link to join! Our plan is to have an intimate celebration afterwards to honor this momentous occasion while still adhering to safety guidelines. We appreciate everyone’s understanding and can’t wait to celebrate with you all when it’s safe to do so!”

If you’re wanting to re-print your invitations, many companies are offering specials for couples impacted by Covid. Artifact Uprising, for instance, is offering free replacements on orders placed for Spring 2020 weddings, as well as $50 off to help couples who can’t get reprints of their stationery. Email them by visiting this site. Another company helping out is Zola, who is offering free re-prints to anyone who used them for the original invitation or save the date. You can visit this site for more information.

Click here for this instant download via TheModernLifeMrs

Click here for this instant download via TheBirchTreePaperie

What Was That About Zoom?

Broadcasting your ceremony is obviously not necessary, but is something many brides are choosing to do. This allows your guests to watch you become legally married, and makes for a pretty epic story later! The easiest way to do this is to send out a Zoom calendar invite to all guests with the meeting link and password. On the day of, you’ll want to set up a computer in front of you and your officiant, and make sure the sound is audible. You’ll also want to mute the audience, because nobody wants to hear Grandma Shirley asking “can you all see me? Is this thing working?” mid- vows.

Micro Wedding Invites: Who Makes The List and Who Gets Cut?

A micro wedding means a very limited guest list. Typically, it includes 10-30 guests, depending on state and venue restrictions. You’ve chosen to postpone the wedding, which is where you will be inviting all guests as planned. Keep this in mind when extending invitations to a select few for this event. If you’re wanting it to be more than just the two of you there, consider including immediate family and closest friends. Will some people be offended? Probably. To be honest, these are the people who are offended by almost any decision you make, and whose thoughts you have to respectfully disregard….it’s YOUR day, not theirs.

Keep in mind that any vendors will count towards your total number, so if you have a strict limit of 20 people and are having an officiant, photographer, and caterer, you may want to only invite 15 guests. Since cost is likely a factor, try to keep this gathering as intimate as possible. It will allow you to do more and stretch your budget further!

Where To Host

Pick somewhere meaningful to you! First date at a cute restaurant in town? Have a favorite coffee shop you frequently visit? Love having picnics together at the park? Pick a spot that you’re excited by! Check with the venue to determine the capacity limitations and availability, and keep in mind that some places (such as a park) will likely allow you to invite more guests. The other thing to look for is micro wedding packages…something that many venues and planners have begun to offer! These packages often include a venue rental for a few hours, food, drinks, a photographer, and a cake! They will vary from vendor to vendor, so it’s best to determine your budget and your top priorities first, and then start doing some research!

Finally, consider a venue that can host the ceremony AND reception in one place. This will save you money, time, and sanity.

Get creative

Because this is a smaller, more intimate gathering, you have the unique ability to choose creative aspects that might not have been possible with 100+ guests! Have your event catered by your favorite restaurant, serve mini cakes for each guest, or leave hand written notes for each person on their plate!

Me, personally? I’d opt for Corona beers at the bar and toilet paper party favors…might as well embrace the situation!

Keep It Affordable

If you’re postponing your original wedding, try to remember that this is a pre-celebration, not THE celebration. The day is about committing to each other, becoming legally wed, and celebrating the momentous occasion. Save the glitz and glam for the larger event with all of your guests. Fancy floral arrangements, paper invites, and top shelf alcohol aren’t necessary!

Must-Haves

So what SHOULD you spend your money on? Pick the top 3-5 items that you both care about most, and prioritize those. If you’re having a small party after the ceremony, you’ll want some food, alcohol, and possibly a low-key live musician (depending on the location). In terms of alcohol, there is no need to go crazy. Your venue might offer a package that includes an open bar, or maybe you decide to host beer and wine only. You will also want a photographer to capture these special moments. The event will be shorter than a normal wedding, so the photographer’s pricing will be much less as well. Lastly, consider the florals…you’ll want a small bouquet for the ceremony and photos, and possibly for table centerpieces as well.

If you’ve already booked vendors for your postponed event, check with them on these things! Most will work with you on affordable options for your micro wedding!