Our Birth Story

Giving birth has been a nightmare of mine since I was a little girl. Considering my extreme fear of blood, needles, being numb, hospitals, etc etc, I couldn’t fathom how I would ever get through it. Everyone always told me “your adrenaline will kick in and you’ll be fine!” but that didn’t seem realistic based on how intense my phobias are. With this in mind, Adam and I decided it would be best to hire a doula. Although we knew I wanted a hospital birth and the use of pain medicine (EPIDURAL PLEASE), we liked the idea of having a Doula there to help keep me calm and provide emotional and physical support during the process. We met with her for the first time a few weeks before my due date to put together a “birth plan”, which I say loosely, because honestly, you can’t plan out your birth. We used this as more of a best case scenario plan, outlining what I would prefer to have happen, if given the choice (things like getting an epidural, not using forceps if possible, avoiding an episiotomy as much as possible by having the doctor apply a warm compress and oil during pushing, etc). Having a loose plan helped make me feel more prepared going into labor, although I was also aware of the fact that it was very likely things wouldn’t go as expected, and was okay with that too.

At my 37 week OB appointment, I was checked and confirmed that I was 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. My doctor felt that my body had made significant progress on its own and that I could schedule an elective induction at 40 weeks, if I wanted. I know there are mixed opinions about inductions, as they can often times lead to a longer labor and increased risk of C-Section, since your body may not be ready for birth just yet. After talking about the risks and benefits with my OB, we agreed to schedule one for my due date (October 18), as she felt confident that my body was in a “prime” state for induction, and that it could help things progress well. A big component of this decision was the emotional aspect of it. I am a highly anxious person in general, and am very Type-A. Pregnancy is tough for anyone who likes to plan things out, because everything is completely out of your control. Knowing when to expect labor and being able to pick the doctor who was on call that day gave me a sense of calmness and made me feel like I had a bit of control over it all. I could schedule someone to watch Tater for us, pack the car up calmly, and avoid the frantic rush to the hospital. The plan was to have me come in on Monday the 18th, start pitocin, and have my Doula meet us at the hospital once contractions started really ramping up.

As I said before, there is no planning this stuff out…I should have known that little girl was in control here, not me. On Saturday the 16th, Adam and I went out to dinner and talked about how excited we were for our induction on Monday. That night, around 10:30pm, we took our sleeping medicine and got into bed. It was the one night out of the past few weeks that I didn’t feel like I was going to go into labor. Prior to that day, I was CONVINCED it was going to happen pretty much 24/7. But having made it so close to my due date with no braxton hicks or cramping, I came to terms with the fact that she wasn’t coming on her own and we would be making it to our induction date. Jokes on me, because at 10:30pm, as I was laying in bed, I felt a sudden rumble in my belly that felt like a THUD-UMP. I had heard about the baby dropping into your pelvis to get ready for birth, and figured that’s what had happened. But then seconds later, I felt a gush of liquid and popped out of bed, telling Adam not to go to sleep yet…I think my water broke. He shot right up and the two of us spent a few minutes staring at each other in shock, waiting to see if more water would come out…which it did. It was go time.

I called the hospital to inform them that my water had broken, while Adam frantically packed the car up. The hospital told me that I had to actually call my OB office (um, what?!), so when I called them and got an answering service that told me a doctor would be calling me back, I was shook! Like, did you not hear me? I am leaking and in labor over here….can someone tell me what to do?! About 10 minutes later (it felt much longer, I assure you), a doctor did call me back and told me to go to the hospital to get checked.

That car ride is a blur. I realized once getting in the car (with a towel between my legs, sorry if that’s TMI), that I was having back contractions. I began timing them on my app and saw that they were coming 3-4 minutes apart, and were lasting a minute long each. I knew from all of the birth classes we took that this meant I was in active labor, which couldn’t be right. Everything we had heard/read told us that labor would be a gradual process, and contractions would likely begin at 10-15 minutes apart, and only last a few seconds at the beginning. I told Adam what was happening, and he agreed that I must be timing it wrong. We finally pulled up to the hospital at 11:15pm and I wobbled out of the car, clutching a towel between my legs as water poured out, and unable to stand up straight from the intensity of the pain. We were greeted by a not-so-friendly receptionist, who asked me what the “purpose of our visit was.” I couldn’t understand what she was asking, when it was so clear WHY I WAS THERE! I told her “Um, to have a baby?” And she said “Can you be more specific?” So Adam and I just looked at each other incredulously…like, is she punk'ing us?! I then said “My water broke?” And that seemed to appease her, because she sent us up to triage.

Triage was probably the worst part of all of this for me. They told us that Adam couldn’t come back with me, and had to sit in the waiting room until it was confirmed if I was in labor or not. I was brought back to a bed on an open floor, closed off by a sliding curtain. For 45 minutes, I sat by myself in excruciating pain, waiting for someone to check me. It was the longest 45 minutes of my life. I continued timing the contractions on my app and noticed them get 2-3 minutes apart. I could hardly breathe through them and remember staring at the clock, praying I would make it in time to get an epidural. Once I was finally checked, the nurse confirmed I was in active labor and was, in fact, contracting every 2-3 minutes, which shocked them. *TOLD YA SO.

By 1am, I was quickly wheeled back to my labor room, where Adam met me. I told the nurses that I was Group B Strep positive, which meant that I needed 4 hours worth of antibiotics prior to giving birth, so they hooked me up to an IV immediately. Shortly after, I asked for the epidural, knowing that it could take the anesthesiologist an hour or so to come to our room. Luckily, she came right away. For everyone out there like me who has a huge fear of needles, I can assure you that the epidural is NOT BAD AT ALL. They start by numbing the spot, which feels like a small bee sting (similar to getting any shot), and then the epidural goes in, but you can’t feel a thing at that point. The whole process took her less than a minute. They have you hunch over on the side of the bed and stay completely still, which was definitely not comfortable while you’re dealing with contractions, but at that point the pain from the contractions was so bad that I would’ve done anything to make it go away. Right after the epidural was in, our Doula arrived. Obviously we had planned on her being with us during the painful part, but she, too, didn’t think things were going to go as quickly as they did, and by the time it was confirmed that I was in active labor, she hopped right in her car.

About 20 minutes after getting the epidural, I realized that I couldn’t feel anything on my right side, but could still feel everything on the left side. The nurses tried turning me over a few times and then had the anesthesiologist come back to re-administer the epidural. Since the needle stays in your back (I know, not a great thought, but just don’t think about it), it’s an easy process to put more of the numbing agent in. Luckily, that did the trick, and a few minutes later, I couldn’t feel a thing. The epidural was amazing for me…I could still wiggle my toes and move my legs if I wanted to (it felt like they had fallen asleep), but my vag was totally numb and I couldn’t feel the contractions at all. They also give you a magical button to press if you feel any pain starting to come again, and that gives you a little boost of the epidural. Don’t be afraid to push that thing!!! One weird side effect I got from the epidural was uncontrollable body shakes. Luckily, the Doula told me a fun trick to stick out my tongue, and it magically stopped the shakes. At some point shortly after the epidural kicked in, a catheter was placed inside me, since you obviously have no control of your bladder when you’re numb. That was something I was also terrified of, but am happy to report that you don’t feel a thing when it’s happening.

At 3am, I was checked again and had quickly gone to 6cm. At 4am, the nurses came back and had a hard time telling if I was 8cm or fully dilated. It took a few of them to determine that I was still at 8cm, but they didn’t think it would be much longer before I was at 10. By 5am, I told them I felt a TINY bit of pressure (kind of like I had to poop, sorry TMI), and they confirmed I was fully dilated. Because this all happened so quickly, they suggested I give my body a little bit of time to do its thing and get ready on its own before pushing. which should help prevent tearing. Since I couldn’t feel any pain, I had no problem with waiting. I figured at this point, we should have as much fun as possible. We started blasting 90s music and Adam and I were belting out some Britney Spears and Backstreet. By 6am, the nurse came in and said we could try a practice push, but that it would probably take a while since I was still totally numb. She looked at the monitor and told me when I was having a contraction, and to try pushing. She then immediately said “Stop! The baby is coming, I’m getting the doctor!” It was go time. Within minutes, the doctor came in, and the lights all came on. Adam was by my side, holding my head up for me during each push. With the nurse’s instruction, I would push for 10 seconds, take a breath, and then do it again two more times before resting. During each rest, we were all singing and chatting, and Adam even peeked down at one point and yelled “Oh my god! That’s her head! She’s coming!” which made me laugh. Like, no, duh!

At 6:19am, and after about 5 sets of pushes, Ryan Olivia Masur was born. It was the most surreal moment when they put her on my chest. I honestly don’t have words for the relief I felt when I first heard her cry, and the extreme amount of love I was instantly filled with. This thing that had grown inside me for 10 months, that I had felt hiccup and wiggle and poke and kick, was finally here, laying on me, grasping my finger with hers.

Now for the after birth part, because nobody talks about this! Immediately following her delivery, the doctor gave me a shot of pitocin in my leg to help get the placenta out, and without me even realizing, it was delivered. I always wondered how that happened, and I know it requires some people to actively push, but I think the Doctor lightly pushed on my stomach and it came right out (honestly, you’re in such a haze with your beautiful newborn on your chest that you hardly realize what’s happening). She then informed me that I had two first degree internal tears requiring a few stitches, so she spent the next few minutes doing that. Again, you’re still numb from the epidural and in awe of your new baby, so you don’t even know what’s going on down there. They then take the baby to weigh and measure them, before returning them for skin to skin. At some point, they remove the catheter, which you can’t feel at all. Once the epidural wears off, they put you in a wheelchair and move you to your recovery room, which is where you’ll be for the remainder of your stay. The incredible team of nurses will help you use the restroom, clean off, and feed your baby whenever you’re ready. Every hour or so, a nurse will come in and push on your stomach (to make sure everything is going back the way it should in there), which is definitely not the most comfortable thing in the world, but only takes a few seconds each time. And then you’re left again, just the three of you, figuring each other out and feeling the most insane amount of love you never even knew was possible.

I know this is an incredibly detailed recount (probably TMI for most), but it was important for me to get this all down, because we hardly ever hear of the positive birth stories. I had always been terrified of labor, hearing horror stories of everything that could go wrong and the pain you could feel. I know everyone’s situation is different, but I hope this reassures anyone who is nervous out there, because it absolutely can go smoothly. Looking back, it was such an empowering few hours. It truly blows my mind that we can grow a baby inside of us, and then bring them into this world. Watching Adam’s face as he watched me push was something I’ll never forget…it’s a good reminder of how strong we are as women.

My hope is that you have a positive birth story of your own, whether that include a vaginal delivery or c-section. But know that, even if things don’t go as expected or as you had originally hoped, it is all worth it in the end when you see your beautiful baby. xx